Sorashi: Whiskey Lullaby
by Cassie Studios
Summary: A songfic to the song "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Allison Krause. A sad love story of Sorata and Arashi. Told from Kamui's and Yuzuriha's POV. A twoshot.
1. Kamui's POV

**A/N:** I've always wanted to write a Sorashi fic, but I never had any idea for the plot. When I heard this song, I thought "It's perfect." Enjoy the fic.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the song or the anime "X 1999."

* * *

**Kamui's POV**

Arashi left.

She put him out

Sorata was devastated. To the best of my knowledge, Arashi never even said "goodbye" to him. I don't know why she had to disappear. But then again, no one knew. Even Yuzuriha. But I guess it had something to do with Sorata. She left him, not us, in the first place.

Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette

As far as I know, Arashi walked away without warning anyone. None of us expected her to be suddenly gone the next day. I'd never been as close to her as Sorata had, but she shouldn't do this. It seemed like a betrayal. Like we weren't important enough for her to tell us about her plans. Maybe we really weren't.

She broke his heart

Sorata took it hard. He'd always had strong feelings towards her. I remember the first time they met. He told her at that time that she was a real beauty. She looked so surprised at his words. Her frown was what had originally attracted him to her. He fell in love that instant. She was a tough one though, but he would never give up. It took him awhile to get her to acknowledge him. I'd even thought that she eventually loved him back. But I'd been dead wrong. Just like Sorata had. Her leaving was a hit he could not take. At least not that easily. I don't know how come he cared so much about a girl he met just a few weeks earlier, but it doesn't matter anymore now. He loved her, and she broke his heart when she just left him like that.

He spent his whole life trying to forget

He searched for her, but in vain. She was nowhere to be found. All that was left was a mere sheet of paper with her handwriting. It said: _"it'll be better this way"_. Sorata could not believe his own eyes, as well as he would not agree with her note. He knew it would not be better that way. He was an outgoing person and he could make friends really easily. But without Arashi, for him it was the same as being all alone. When it occurred to him that she was not going to return, he attempted to forget about her. I think it was too painful to him to store all the memories he had of her. But the time passed and he was completely unable to throw her out of his mind.

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time 

Finally he reached for alcohol. I couldn't stop him, and I even didn't want to. It seemed to be the only possible way to help him forget, even if only for a short time. So he drank. Me and Yuzuriha watched him as he was drunk almost all the time. We really felt sorry for him, but there wasn't anything that we could do for him. We only took care of him when he could not stand on his own due to the whiskey.

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

However, even at such times he would whisper her name. I'd never thought that love could be so strong. That guy proved to be immune to anything that wasn't connected with her. He loved her so much that it was slowly eating him from the inside. We finally understood that there was no cure for that affection of his. We could only watch him suffer more and more…

Until the night

…until that cold night, half a year after Arashi's departure.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

Me and Yuzuriha were out for some reason. I can't even remember why. It didn't matter to me after I'd learned what Sorata had done to himself. I have no idea where he got that gun from. I guess he must've been hiding it from us for quite a while. And since no bottle of alcohol could help him forget, he chose a bottle that would shut his memory forever.

And finally drunk away her memory

Needless to say, he succeeded. No more would he torment himself over his broken heart. He would never cry again because the only woman he'd ever loved had left him with no goodbye.

Life is short, but this time it was bigger

Sorata was a young man, he had yet to truly live his life. Actually, he could be doing anything. He was a talented guy, he was a Seal, he could cook really well and was gifted with making friends. Had it not been for Arashi, he could've been a successful and happy man. But the love he had for her eliminated any possibilities of him living a happy life.

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

It just…crushed him. All the memories, all the pain… I think he just didn't have enough strenght to live without Arashi. She was everything to him. I know that in fact he _was_ strong, but even strong people have moments when they need to kneel down. This was the moment for Sorata to kneel…and never stand up again.

We found him with his face down in the pillow

Yuzuriha was the first to arrive home. I got there ten minutes later. She met me in the hall all in tears. At first I couldn't understand what was going on, but then I got that strange feeling that it had something to do with Sorata. We rushed to his room together. Yuzuriha opened the door and then I saw him. He was lying in his bed, all covered with blood. His right hand was hanging loosely off the bed, gripping a gun. I immediately understood what had happened. It shocked me…but truth to be said, I should've expected something like that.

With a note that said "I'll love her 'till I die"

Sorata's left hand remained clenched onto something. It took us several minutes to open his fist and take out a small sheet of paper. It read: _"I'm sorry. I can't go on like this anymore. I can't forget about her. I know that I'll love her until I die. If so, then let me die and finally forget about her."_ Yuzuriha started panicking after seeing this. She cried and trembled uncontrollably. It was really hard to calm her down.

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The funeral was a small one. There were only a few people: me, Yuzuriha, Aoki-san… I contacted the Koya mountain to ask them if we should send Sorata's body there for them to handle the burial. However, they said that if he was truly our friend and if we want it, we might bury him ourselves. So we prepared the funeral. The funny thing is that the weather on that day was quite nice. The sun was shining and there was only small fresh breeze. Yuzuriha cried all the time. I tried to comfort her, but to no avail. Besides, I cried as well. Sorata was my friend after all. He protected me, as he had promised me. And…well, maybe it wasn't supposed to be like that, but…he really died because of a woman that he loved.

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Me and Yuzuriha were the closest to him, so we stayed at his grave the longest. It got quiet and peaceful after all the people left. I thought that this would be…I don't know…like…more eyecatching I guess… Sorata was one of the Seven Seals, yet nothing much happened after his death. I thought that it was unjust. And then I saw it. Well, it might be a coincidence, but I don't believe it was one. I believe it was a sign. From the sky, from Heaven, one single feather dropped. One feather white like snow flew down and landed just on Sorata's grave. At least the sky welcomed him properly. He was worth it. He was a good person and it's awful that he had to die like this. But maybe he was destinied to end up that way from the very beginning.

The sad thing is, I didn't see Arashi at the funeral. Neither did Yuzuriha. No one did.


	2. Yuzuriha's POV

**Yuzuriha's POV**

After almost a year, Arashi came back.

_The rumours flew_

She didn't know anything about Sorata's death. When I told her, she was shocked. She just stared at me, speechless. Then she whimpered and covered her mouth. Turning on the spot, she ran away from me. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. Personally I think that she might've gone to his grave… She finally came back in the evening, her eyes red, asking quietly if she could stay with us. Me and Kamui agreed.

_But nobody knew how much she blamed herself_

This was my first time seeing her crying. Or maybe I should say: the last time seeing her _not_ crying. From that point on, she would always have tears on her cheeks. I know she loved him. But then again, why did she leave him? One day I came to her room to ask this question. I just couldn't bear this anymore. We tried to give her privacy (she spent all days sitting in her room), but that time I decided that I finally needed to know the reason. So I came and I asked. She burst out with tears again. Between her sobs she managed to say that she left because if she stayed, he would probably have to die for her sake… The irony of the statement hit me so hard that I had to sit down. Arashi clung onto me, trembling. She cried that she didn't want his death, that she did this all to _prevent_ it…

_For years and years_

I told Kamui about that. We finally understood what was going on. But that didn't mean it was easier for us. Well, she just wanted to protect him, she tried to do the right thing, but… I don't know. I think I shouldn't blame her. All people make mistakes. It's just that her mistake cost Sorata his life… I'm not trying to justify her deeds. I just feel sorry for her. Her good will brought about a total disaster. She knew that. That's why for a long time we hardly saw her. She even ate alone. Maybe she didn't want to be aruond us, to look us in the eye. I tried to convince her we don't blame her, but to no avail. It lasted for a really long time.

_She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath_

One day I finally found out what she was doing in her room alone. It's ironic, but she resorted to the same "cure" as Sorata. I discovered it quite easily. I just walked in on her when she was drinking. She quickly hid the bottle under the bed. But she could not hide the awful smell of whiskey from her mouth.

_She finally drank her pain away a little at a time_

I always consulted such things with Kamui. He himself hardly ever talked to her. I'm not sure if he just actually blamed her for Sorata's death or if he tried to go on normally. They had never been close, so… Anyway, he said that it was OK. It didn't help Sorata; however, it could help her. So we just watched from behind the curtains as she struggled to forget about her terrible mistake. About the death of her beloved one, which she caused herself. I don't know if her methods worked, but I guess it could bring her at least a little ease…

_But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind_

Still, she soon proved to be immune to alcohol, just like Sorata. We didn't know how to help her. I tried my best, but the most I could achieve was cuddling her while she was slowly falling asleep from the alcohol and crying. Sorata couldn't forget, and she couldn't do that as well. I'd never thought that their love was so strong.

_Until the night_

Eventually…she once more followed Sorata's example.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger_

It was like a replay. This time it was Kamui who found her. I walked into her room with a tray of food. But she was lying there, blood all over her. Kamui was sitting at the edge of the bed. He looked up at me and I immediately knew. I put the tray down and sat beside him. We were silent for a longer while.

_And finally drank away his memory_

I liked Arashi a lot, but…I guess it was better that way. If she was to torment herself over and over because of Sorata, then maybe choosing death was wiser. I looked at Kamui, he looked back. We gazed at each other with no words spoken, but we shared the same thoughts. Both Arashi and Sorata had finally found their peace.

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger_

She was a strong person, I know that. Just like Sorata… But if Sorata couldn't bear the situation anymore, how could we expect Arashi to be stronger when in fact she was the one to blame? Ok, I didn't mean it that way, but…you know. If she hadn't left, they'd probably be both alive and happy together. And now they were dead, having committed suicide at such young age.

_Than the strength she had to get up off her knees_

Love is a strange thing. It can bring so much happiness and at the same time – so much sorrow. I know something about that. I do realize, of course, that it's a lot different with me and Kusanagi-san, but still I have the taste. If Kusanagi-san died, I would be devastated. Arashi left, so Sorata was devastated. And when he died, Arashi was devastated as well. They loved each other so much… And maybe that's why the love they had for each other proved to be stronger than both of them.

_We found her with her face down in the pillow_

Just like Sorata, she had her face buried deep in the pillows. I think that it might've been some sort of soothing to her… Like nuzzling against them could ease her pain so that she could die in peace. So that she could be sure she'd meet him at the other side and tell him everything. I know it's too romantic. Still, I believe they are together now, somewhere in Heaven.

_She was clinging to his picture for dear life_

Sorata had a note in his clenched hand. Arashi, in contrast to that, had a picture. I don't know when and where they took it. It showed them both, Sorata grinning like there was no tommorow (I'll remember that face of him forever) and Arashi with a small pout. I guess it was him who wanted to take the picture. The fact that she actually obliged was quite amazing. Apparently Sorata had some sort of a…"convincing charm"? I don't know… It was so sad gazing at her. Tears welled up in my eyes. I clung onto Kamui's arm and he caressed my head. I think he felt kinda sorry for me, but I felt sorry for Arashi. She just wanted Sorata to live, and she ended up causing his death. She died holding onto the only keepsake of him. Holding it so desperately that we didn't even try to take the picture out. It would certainly tear up if we did.

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow_

I think it might be quite cliché, but we decided to let them rest toghether. We buried Arashi right beside Sorata's grave. That was the only thing we could do for them. All this time there was no helping the situation. We could just watch as they died slowly from the inside. Now we could do them this last favor: bury them next to each other. I've once read a Middleage love story where both lovers died at the same time and then they were buried one beside another. During the night there grew a rose bush between their graves. Even if it got cut down, it would always grow back. So after some time people just stopped trimming the bush and only stared at the red roses. Maybe there will be such a bush in here as well? Who knows… Judging from how strongly they felt towards each other, they deserved at least the same.

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby 

Yes, Kamui once told me about his theory about that feather that fell down onto Sorata's grave during the funeral. I guess I have to agree with him. I believe that both Sorata and Arashi had had a proper welcome to Heaven. And I believe that there was a reason for this all. For this pain and sorrow they had to go through. There had to be. Why else tear apart two so decent and great people? My grandma always said that love has her own ways. This time she also did it her way. I believe in love. I believe she's powerful, but also kind. She wouldn't so something like that if she hadn't had greater plans behind it. She killed them mercilessly, but who knows? Maybe they would never find happiness on Earth.

Maybe Arashi was right, after all. Maybe it really was better that way.

* * *

**A/N:** Please review.


End file.
